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hen we re-frame stories that are holding us back in life, we can reclaim a significant amount of emotional energy. Then we can redirect that energy to ward something positive and more productive in life.
Here’s the deal: an event happens. Then we create a story around that event. Oftentimes, we add interpretations about why something happened or we assume other people’s motivations or intentions. Other times we just spiral off into a bunch of negative stuff that ends up holding us back instead of helping us to move forward.
Today we’re going to look at three different ways to re-frame a story to serve us better. I’m not talking about changing the facts. The story remains true, but our focus is on aspects of the story that are more beneficial to us.
- “I chose…”
Using this technique, we focus on all the choices we made in that situation. It really shows how much power we have in our own lives. It’s an ideal way to move from being a victim to recognizing our power in life. - Change the Focus
Instead of looking at all the bummer parts of the story, find a part of the story you like better and emphasize those parts instead.. - Redeem the Story
Find the good that ultimately came from the experience. It’s the ultimate way to turn a negative into a positive.
To illustrate, I’ll share a story from my own life. I used to tell (and, therefore, relive in my mind) the story in a negative way that really got me down. You’ll also see how I applied the three techniques above to create a new version of the story that actually builds me up instead.
The Original Event
Shortly after John and I started Writing our book, I lost just enough central vision that I couldn’t read what I wrote on the computer screen anymore.
Story that Doesn’t Serve Me
The timing was terrible. It took me a lot longer to write my parts of the book than it would have otherwise. I struggled so much with the Linux screen reader. Then I finally had to borrow a special device for blind people and that took forever to learn. It’s been over a year and a half and I still don’t have all the equipment I need to do my work independently. I still need either John or Nathan to help me post all my blogs.
Oh my, gosh! I almost cried just writing that story. Although it may be accurate, it doesn’t serve me, so I use a different version instead.
“I chose…”
I chose to agree to write the book in the first place. I chose to push through even though it was hard and took longer. I chose to explore other technology options instead of sticking with something that wasn’t working for me. I chose to ask to borrow a Braille Notetaker, which was a pretty bold move on my part. Furthermore, I chose to work with Vocational Rehabilitation to get the equipment and training I need. I chose to finish what I started and because of that choice, my husband and I published a book that’s already changing lives.
Focus on a Different Aspect of the Story
Sure, it was hard. But we got it done. And I think we did a really good job on it, too.
Redeem the Story
Actually, there were some really good things that came from that experience. First, the quality of my writing improved a lot. Honestly, it was already too cumbersome to re-read my writing with the vision I had, so I wasn’t working through my writing enough to make it good. BEING able to listen to what I wrote made it possible to give it the attention it really needed. Also, I’ve since learned how to read and write Braille which will ultimately make my presentations go a lot smoother, too.
Surely you can see how beneficial it is to be able to re-frame a story. The emotional consequence of telling ourselves a positive version versus a negative one is huge. So next time you go through a situation that keeps getting you down, try applying these techniques. See which one works best for that situation.
You, too, can become a masterful spin doctor and re-frame stories in a way that moves you forward rather than keeping you stuck. Then you can put all that mental and emotional energy to good use in Discovering your purpose, living your calling and making a significant difference in the lives of other people
