There are many things we each pursue in life. We each have a different definition of what “winning” looks like in life. Sometimes we aren’t even consciously aware of what it means for us to win. Sometimes we react and respond without considering what is driving our actions.
Normal
For a lot of us winning means that in comparison we’re better off than our peers. In this case, better off, means that we have a bigger house, a more expensive car, and we take better vacations. The “American Dream” after all, is to own a car, a house with a picket fence, and have 2.5 kids.
The “American Dream” keeps changing, though. As soon as one of our peers gets a new car, we feel like we’re being left behind. We wonder if we’re missing out or losing out. So, we make an effort to get a new car too. And if we can get an even better car than them, well that would be just awesome.
For others of us, winning means that we become a better person. We have an internal list of what is virtuous, and we aspire to exhibit these qualities better than anyone else. We compare ourselves to others in how virtuous we are. Often this makes us judgmental of others. We think or say self-righteous things like, “Oh, I see you got a new car. That’s so shallow.”
And others of us aren’t even playing to win in life. Instead, we’re playing to not lose. At work, we make sure we never make a mistake. We make sure we’re not singled out as a “problem employee.” We never take any risks. We focus on removing problems so at least things aren’t bad. But we don’t go for the win, either. We get by.
So, we plod a long in life with a sense of repetition. The more we go on, the more dreary life seems – each week looks a lot like the last. Month after month, year after year, things are the same. People ask, “what’s new?” and we answer, “Same ol’, same ol’.”
Awakening
What we’re missing is a deeper meaning in life. In 2005 I had a heart attack. My heart beat really hard in my chest a couple times, and I felt instantly sick to my stomach. I remember being curled up on the bathroom floor feeling terrified. I had the thought that I might not go to work on Monday because I wouldn’t be around anymore to go to work. It was my “oh crap!” moment. I realized that I had spent so much of my life on things that just don’t matter.
I’ve learned that what really matters, what it really means to win in life, is in what we contribute to the world. The huge win in life is to live a legacy that outlives our life for generations to come. All that other stuff we try to win at doesn’t matter.
Change
We talk to a lot of people, and usually what we see is that people are unclear about the legacy they want to live. People are also often unclear about what activity produces lasting results. People laud charity or contribution that really lasts only a few hours and then fades away.
This makes sense because we generally don’t talk about this sort of thing. We don’t compare notes about how we’re making a meaningful difference in people’s lives. Instead we talk about Monday’s game, what car we drive, the weather, how terrible is the boss we have, and the crisis we’re going through right now.
Most personal development support out there is aimed at helping you find success. Instead, we help you find meaning. We will help you get clear on the meaningful results you want from your life. We will also help you orient your life around producing these results. You can escape the rat race and end the sense of repetition in your life.
If you are ready to live different, get started by taking our Life’s Impact Assessment (simplygreatlives.com/lifes-impact-assessment/), and then schedule a free Discovery Session by calling (916) 783-2622. You will get an idea on where your life is at now and where you want it to be. Then we’ll make some recommendations.
