A lot of us spend time and energy getting the most out of the moment we are in. For example, when we are negotiating a deal, we want the best deal. We want to get the most out of our relationships, and we want to get the most out of our jobs/careers. There’s nothing wrong with any of this, but the way many of us go about getting these things, we end up getting the opposite of what we want.
Let me explain. A lot of us view the life as a series of independent moments. We make a decision that gets the most of the moment and then we move on to the next moment. And we view the next moment as not being connected to the previous moment. This sense of each moment, each decision as being an isolated occurrence is what gets us in trouble.
Let’s start with an example, suppose Joey (fictitious name) negotiates the sale price of a car. He pushes really hard. He lies about his kids not having another way to get to school. Eventually Joey gets his best friend to sell him the car for $3,000 below the Kelly Blue Book value of the car. Joey won, right? Well, yes an no. Joey “won” that negotiation, but in the end he lost. His best friend doesn’t trust Joey any more and won’t buy or sell anything from him. In fact, Joey’s friend feels he was taken advantage of and is bitter about the deal. Joe lost his friend. That sale didn’t occur as an isolated incident.
The basic principle is: “How I play today, affects how others play with me tomorrow.”
If I want the most out of life, the best deal is the one where everyone wins. This ensures that I have great deals in the future. You can put in your own word in place of ‘deal’. You can put in ‘relationship’, ‘job’, ‘sale’, ‘volunteer work’, whatever.
I see people missing this concept time and again. I’ve had sales people lie to me to get the sale. People, if you lie to me to make a sale, I’m done. Sure maybe you got that one sale out of me, but I’m not buying from you again. If your company has it’s sales people lying to make their quotas, you’re doing it wrong, and you’re not setting up your company for success.
Conversely, if you view the current deal as a way to build better future deals, if you guard the other person’s win as well as your own, this incident too is not in isolation. You will build relationships where people are more likely to engage with you and give you better deals.
And that’s how you get the best deals into the future.
