Don’t believe all the junk. You know what I’m talking about. You have this self talk that you play over and over in your mind at various times in the day. And this self talk isn’t the uplifting kind.
What We Believe
Some of this self talk is what others have told you. Maybe whenever you messed something up, one or both of your parents told you that you wouldn’t amount to anything. Maybe your friends told you that you are a looser.
And some of this self talk is your interpretation of what you heard people say and seen people do. Someone did something and you thought, “oh, I guess they don’t love me.” Then you started wondering if you’re lovable. And then maybe you started looking for evidence that you aren’t lovable.
Whatever it is, you have self talk that tells you that you’re not smart, no one will listen to you, you don’t have what it takes, you’re not leadership material, no one likes you, etc. And don’t believe that stupid “sticks and stones” rhyme. What we hear can sink deep into us.
Expectations
Expectations can influence us in a huge way. When we replay these negative messages we are replaying people’s negative expectations of us. By listening and believing this junk we will be sabotaged or at least severely limited before we even begin.
This might seem a bit woo-woo, but this has been shown by science. Studies have shown there is a strong correlation between expectations and performance. One such study was done on rats’ abilities to navigate a maze. One group of students were told that they were to help these “maze-smart” rats. They were to train these incredibly smart rats to run through a set of complex mazes. Their job was to see how fast the rats could run these mazes in 30 days.
Another set of students were told that they were to help with some “maze-stupid” rats. These rats, the students are told, have never been able to complete even one maze. And the student’s challenge is to see if they can train these rats to run through the mazes as fast as possible.
The rats, of course, were picked at random, and the mazes that the rats ran were exactly the same. The only difference were the student’s expectations. At the end of of the study, the, so called, “maze-smart” rats ran the maze on average 200 percent faster than the “maze-stupid” rats. Expectations matter.
Believe In Yourself
It’s time to stop believing junk. And it’s time to start believing in yourself. Find some people who believe in you too. Let them speak into your life and really let that soak in deep. Don’t think things like, “oh, they don’t really meant that.” Take it in. Accept it for what it is. If someone goes out of their way to give you a compliment, then there must be something to it.
When was the last time you received a message from someone who believed in you? Give lots, I mean lots, of weight to what they said. It’s true you know.
