If we aren’t careful, the pursuit of our calling can mean the end of our marriage. We can find our calling a marriage buster. However, pursuing our calling doesn’t have to include a divorce.
A Wedge
We should be aware that when we decide to pursue our calling, it will mean changes in the family – possibly big changes. We are often resistant to change, including our spouse. We can’t just spring this on our spouse and expect them to go along with it.
For example, our spouse may not appreciate us downsizing in house so we can give away thousands of dollars to a cause. Our spouse may not like seeing the kids we are mentoring hanging out at our house. Even just spending our weekends taking classes, perfecting a craft, or visiting the local soup kitchen will change the culture and environment of the household.
Bring Our Spouse Along
The key is to bring our spouse along for the adventure. It can’t just be our adventure. Our spouse needs to see how they fit into our grand vision, and the role they will play in it. Ideally, our spouse will catch our vision and want to be a part of it. At the very least, they need to understand how important it is to us and support us in it.
We should not assume that it’s either our calling or our marriage. We made a commitment to our spouse at the altar in our wedding vows. The context of our calling will not be good if we just ditch our marriage just because it seems to be in the way of our calling.
A big part of success in bringing our spouse along is in our being flexible. Suppose we discover we have a passion for adoption. So, maybe our spouse isn’t yet ready to adopt kids. And maybe our spouse isn’t ready to give $10,000 every 6 months to help other families adopt kids. It is likely, though, that there is something we can do to pursue our passion for adoption that our spouse is OK with right now.
We should give room for our spouse to ease into the changes we envision. Over time, our spouse may discover they have a passion and a calling and it aligns nicely with ours.
We need to bring our spouse along with us. This may take leadership, persistence, and patience.
What about you? What’s your best advice for including your spouse in the pursuits you love?
