I’ve noticed that we all have an internal maze. This maze inside of us consists of all the rules that we follow to be liked, loved and accepted, and to feel like we’re good people. This maze is really complex, so complex in fact, that we often never find the “cheese” at the end.
The “cheese” at the end of this maze represents what we really really want. Most people want more than success and accomplishments. Not just fame and notoriety, we want to be known, loved, and accepted. We want to know that our life mattered. And we want to leave a legacy beyond just leaving money. We want to know that people’s lives are better because of us.
So why would we create a maze, a set of twists and turns, to get what we really want? I believe mostly it’s because we are afraid. We are afraid that we’ll mess up. We might look foolish. If we put ourself in the spotlight, we might become a target. We fear that our friends and family will abandon us. Others might judge us.
It’s also more comfortable to stay where we’re at. It’s easier to go watch TV instead of planning to make a difference in people’s lives. And we get a false sense of security believing that our life is predictable and certain.
The maze consists primarily of half truths and falsehoods. It looks like this:
- If I do this then I’ll be filled with pride, which would be bad.
- I’m not good enough to do something like that.
- I haven’t heard from God, so I shouldn’t do this, otherwise I’ll be doing this on my own.
- My life is too full to add one more thing.
- If I get paid for this, then I’m taking from people, and it doesn’t count, but I don’t have time to volunteer.
- I don’t want to get religion on me, so I don’t want to do this even it would help me.
- If it’s not religious enough, then it won’t include God, and I don’t want to do this even if it would help me.
- If I get help with this, then it means that there’s something wrong with me, and I can’t accept that.
- If I admit I’m not making the impact I want, then there must be something wrong with me, so I’ll just declare that I’m already making the impact I want without evaluating or changing anything.
- Nobody will hear what I have to say.
- I need a degree or other credential before I can make a difference.
- If I try and fail, then it will be really bad.
- If I make an impact in the world, then like Martin Luther King, Jr., I’ll get shot and die.
- If I am to make a difference in the world, then I’ll have to live in complete poverty like Mother Teresa.
Maybe you can relate to some of these. The truth, though, is that this maze of falsehoods only serves to keep you from getting what you really really want in your life.
Note that no one puts a decision to go see a movie, for example, under the same scrutiny. We don’t pray to ask God to see if we should see the movie. We don’t worry that if the movie is a “fail”, we’ll have wasted 2+ hours of our life. We go if the movie seems interesting. For golf, we don’t tell ourself that we’re not good enough to play, worrying that we’ll screw up on the 9th hole again. We just go play and see what happens. The reason for this is that seeing a movie or playing golf doesn’t matter, but what we really really want really really matters to us.
We really really don’t want to screw it up, and it may seem better to not try at all, than to try and mess up. But deep down in our hearts, we know that we need to try, or we’re living a hollow life.
What do you really really want in life? Do you notice reasons coming up in you for settling on something less? Is that serving you, or are you pushing away what you care about most?
I want to encourage you to not wait. Don’t settle. Go for what you value most. At the end of your life, you don’t get a do-over. Make the most of the time you have now. Set aside your internal maze. It’s not helping.
