When I was a kid, I used to have quiet time. I would be by myself and build with Lego blocks. I would read. And sometimes, I would just be quiet and think. These days, I don’t take so much quiet time. And I am learning how important it is to have quiet time.
It’s a choice, really. I can choose to have quiet time. It’s a matter of priorities and choices. The kicker, though, is how the time is spent.
See, to get the most out of your quiet time, it’s not enough to just be quiet. We do that we when sleep. It’s also not best use of the time to be looking over Facebook posts, or immersing yourself in that novel.
Internal Reflection
A key to maximizing quiet time is to reflect on how you have been feeling and why you are feeling that way, and to learn about yourself. It’s also useful to reflect on how and why you have been responding to people lately. What has been coming up for you?
Getting quiet is a good method for learning about your internal processing and growing from it.
For example, when someone “pushed your buttons” and you became emotionally triggered, why did it happen? What were you feeling? What were you making it mean? What were you afraid might happen? What past experience might be informing your current response? What happened? When else were you triggered this way? What is common between these experiences?
If you don’t get quiet and provide space to ask these types of questions, you will likely remain captive to past experiences and emotionally triggering events.
It’s all about learning and growing from the inside out. And, by the way, we all have automatic responses that we can reflect on and learn from.
If you’re not sure where to start, you can ask yourself things like:
- When do I not trust?
- When do I hold back, and not share?
- When was the last time my “buttons got pushed?”
- When was the last time I experienced conflict?
Lots of Quiet Time
Another key component of quiet time is to have a lot of it, a few times a day. Each individual quiet time may not take that long. But this way you can process events soon after they take place. If you don’t have much time in the moment, at least you can write down a note like, “So and so said such and such, and I was feeling this way.” Then later you can pick it back up when you have a quiet moment.
Listening to God
Useful quiet time also includes talking to God, and more importantly listening to God. What is God saying? This is not the same thing as the usual prayer where we give God requests. Instead this asking God what He has in mind for us, and then just listening. Perhaps, you don’t believe in God. I have a strong suspicion that this type of exercise would still be useful – even if you’re not thinking it’s God answering. The answers we hear can be golden.
You can even share what you learn from quiet time with people. You might be surprised at how often people relate to the struggle and appreciate hearing the growth you experience. And they will form a deeper connection with you.
When was the last time you had reflective quiet time? How did it go?
