I think a lot of us (me included) have issues around the “C” word. What’s the “C” word you ask? It’s “commitment.”
We don’t like to commit. We want to leave our options open. So we don’t commit. What we often don’t understand is that this is costing us. We have weak and superficial relationships. We have unmet goals. We have buried dreams. And we have disappointing roles at work. We have all these largely because we avoid commitment.
Only If …
Often when we do commit, we have “only if” commitment. We’ll commit to attending that party but only if we’re not still playing golf. We’ll commit to our marriage but only if they keep making us happy. We’ll commit to that project, but only if it stays exciting and it’s not too hard.
So we are surrounded by people who can’t count on us, who don’t trust us and who feel we don’t care about them. In the words of Dr Phil, how’s this working for us?
Even If …
What if we decided instead to have “even if” commitments? We would commit to our marriage even if things aren’t smooth sailing. We would commit to attend that party even if we don’t feel like it. We would commit to the project even if it’s no longer exciting.
If we made “even if” commitments to our jobs, our families, our friends, and even ourselves, we would be one of those trustworthy “rocks” that everyone could count on. We would have deeper more meaningful relationships because we wouldn’t be sending a non-committal, “I love you, but I’m keeping my options open,” message. We would find ourselves in better paying jobs that are more fulfilling. We would accomplish goals we set for ourselves. And we would start to realize our dreams.
All this can be ours if we would just face our fear of commitment.
