Sometimes when I interact with people, I hear them explain a certain behavior with the phrase, “That’s just the way I am.” The person is saying, “that’s the way I am, and I can’t change.” In truth, this is just making excuses for bad behavior that should stop.
Reversing Negative Talk
Getting such a behavior to stop, however, will take more effort than usual. If we’ve been telling ourself, “I am (fill in bad behavior)” for years or maybe even decades, we have a lot of self programming to undo. Some examples might be, “I am clumsy,” “I am shy,” “I am disorganized,” “I am rude,” … “and that’s just the way I am.”
“I am” statements act very powerfully on our subconscious mind. To undo these negative “I am” messages we’ve been telling ourself, it’s best to replace these “I am” statements with counter, positive ones. For example, “I am dexterous,” “I am outgoing,” “I am organized,” and “I am compassionate.”
Powerful Positive Talk
If “I am” statements are so powerful, why do we use them only to cap on ourself? Why don’t we use these types of statements to build ourself up? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but now is a great time to make a powerful change.
Think of the power of encouragement. Have you ever had someone say, “you’re good at this.” Maybe you weren’t really great at it, but you showed an aptitude for it. Because of the encouragement, you developed this skill into something great. I know I’ve had this in my life.
Encouragement can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. It helps us go from good to great. It can even help us go from not so good to great. Maybe the encouraging statement doesn’t start out true, but it becomes true. Positive “I am” statements are like little encouragements from ourself. And even though it’s not from an external source, it still works.
So, why not start giving yourself these little encouraging “I am” statements. Here are some examples:
- “I am a good listener.”
- “I am great at remembering names.”
- “I am loving and supportive.”
- “I am confident.”
- “I am courageous.”
- “I am honest.”
- “I am compassionate.”
- “I am authentic.”
- “I am worthy.”
- “I am a word keeper.”
- “I speak up.”
- “I go first.”
Pick out a couple things you want to start with. Then say the statements out loud each morning. Once isn’t enough. Keep saying the statements until one day, you believe it and you see those qualities emerge in your life. Lastly, if you are a believer in God, go ahead and pray about these to Him as well.
What about you? What do you keep telling yourself? Is it positive or negative?
So true!