Giving back is crap. Instead, we want you to make a real difference in the world. You heard it right, This idea of giving back is broken. I get fired up about this as you can tell by my language. Let me explain why.
Intent
Why do people or companies give back? Here are some of the most common reasons:
- They feel like they should (guilt)
- It brings in more business (manipulation)
- It makes them feel good (score card)
With intentions like these, the involvement in the activity will be pretty shallow. The attitude will be, “what is the easiest thing I can do, and be done with it in the fastest amount of time?” We’ll want to get in, get it done, and check it off our list.
Now maybe you’re thinking, “This really isn’t so bad. They’re still giving back. What’s wrong with this?” Well, imagine this is the attitude of your doctor when you go to see them. Let’s get you in and out as fast as possible with the least effort. Would you feel like you are valued and cared for, or would you feel like an object?
People who give back with this sort of attitude aren’t caring for the ones they’re serving, instead it’s all about themselves. And I think that’s crap.
Passion
When we give back, there’s no passion in it. Just think about it, if it was something you really cared deeply about, you wouldn’t be giving back as something on the side. Rather, it would be a primary part of your life.
We might hear, “I’m really passionate about curing cancer, so I gave $100 last year the American Cancers Society.” Uh, no. That’s not what passion looks like. But that’s exactly what giving back looks like.
With giving back, we give a handout rather than a hand up. People who give back lack passion for the activity and the results. And I think that’s crap.
Implications
The other really cruddy thing about giving back is the implication it makes about what you’re doing with the rest of your time. The term, “giving back,” strongly implies that you must be otherwise taking from people.
If you’re providing something of value in exchange for money, you are not taking from them. You are trading. But the term, “giving back,” suggests that this wasn’t the case. If you get paid from your employer or in your business, assuming you are ethical, you are not stealing money.
What does this phrase do to your subconscious, and your sense of self worth? If it’s implied that you’re otherwise taking from people, what is your value to society? Your giving back language has your subconscious believing that you’re otherwise a drain on society rather than a contributer. And I think that’s crap.
Opposite
What would it look like if you weren’t just giving back? Let’s look at what you might do if this were instead your calling.
For starters, it wouldn’t be something you do occasionally on the side. You wouldn’t say, “Here’s how I’m giving back.” You would say, here’s the impact I’m creating all the time. This is a part of my DNA – it’s what I do.
You would be interacting with the people you are serving because you have a genuine love and concern for the people. I don’t care if you own a foundation creating vaccines for people, you would want to go see the people you’re helping.
Rena and I saw Father Joe Carroll of Father Joe’s Villages. When we heard him talk about it, we could tell he really cared about the homeless folk he was serving and he really did want them to change their life. At one point someone asked him if he would sit and eat with a homeless person. His answer was telling. He said, “Of course I would. I ate with some homeless folk the other day. We provide lunch for the homeless who are staying at our center and I eat with them all the time. They’re real people just like you and me.”
And finally, you wouldn’t be getting it over with as quickly as you can. Instead you would be fully engaged. You would be wondering how you can do more – not less. You would want to be checking in on the results. You would want to know that what you’re doing is effective, and adjust if not.
If you lived in your passion to impact your world, instead of going through the motions and checking off some things on your list, you would come alive. Now wouldn’t that be something?
Don’t just give back. Instead, uncover what makes you come alive, and go make a real, meaningful, impact with the rest of your life.
