Too often people focus on what they don’t want. Sometimes you can see this wrong focus in names of organizations. Consider, for example, “Americans Against the Republican Party” or even “Mothers AGAINST Drunk Driving”. Neither title describes what they want.
Against Isn’t Good Enough
There are several important reasons why being against something isn’t good enough.
1. The desired end result is unclear.
DO they really want a lack of something or do they actually want a more specific end result? Doesn’t MADD, for example, really want responsible drivers? Surely they wouldn’t be satisfied if drunk driving was a thing of the past, but kids are dying as a result of people texting and driving.
2. Without a clear desired end result, motivation tends to wane as people get further from whatever was irritating them.
Perhaps you’ve experienced this phenomenon if you’ve ever had a weight loss goal. If the desired end result isn’t something like optimal health, it’s very easy to bail on the goal when enough of the weight is gone and we are feeling better than before.
3. Nothing or, rather, a lack of something, doesn’t necessarily create what we want.
It takes effort to create something worthwhile. getting our kids to stop fighting doesn’t make a harmonious, loving relationship magically appear in it’s place.
Building that kind of relationship takes plenty of time and effort.
Criticize by Creating
If there is something that really bugs you, maybe you should do something about it. First, get clear on what you do want. Next, determine how you’ll create it. Finally, you will be able to enjoy being without whatever was bothering you in the first place.
So, setting aside for now what you are against, what are you really for?
