In 2004, a group of researchers at John Hopkins University found that even after heart patients had open heart, bypass surgery, only 3% of them changed their lifestyle. The rest of them had to have additional procedures costing hundreds of thousands of dollars.
It turns out it’s pretty difficult for us to make lasting change even when facing death as a consequence. I believe the reason we have a hard time changing is no reason. Did you miss it? OK, let me say that a little clearer. We don’t change because we don’t have a really clear reason to change. We come out of a life threatening experience thinking, “This time I’m going to live differently.” But then later, we’re back doing the same things again. I believe this happens because deep down in our subconscious we’re thinking, “I need to prolong my life for … uh, tell me again, why am I prolonging my life?”
When I had my heart attack in 2005, I had a real awakening. This was an, “Oh crap!” moment for me. I thought, “This could be the end of my life, and I spent so much of it on things that don’t matter.” When I look back, I notice I didn’t have an “oh crud” moment about my health. My big Aha! experience wasn’t that I should eat healthier and exercise – though I certainly have changed these parts of my life. Instead, it was about how I spent my time on this earth.
The truth I learned is that it’s not about the years we have in our life, but rather it’s about the life we have in our years.
I believe that even though we may not be facing physical death, many of us are actually facing a “change or die” situation right now. It all comes down to what we mean by life and what it means to die. In my experience anything less than experiencing the fullness of life is a kind of death.
You can see this in people’s eyes. When you walk into a workplace environment where everyone is just getting through the day, you can look in their eyes and see that they are experiencing a lifeless existence.
If any time we are just going through the motions:
- when we’re putting in the minimum into our marriage
- when we’re working just enough to not get fired
- when we’re paying people just enough so they don’t quit
- when we’re spending just enough time with our kids so they do their homework
- when we leave things unsaid or unfinished
- when we don’t call that friend we’ve been meaning to, but we’ll get to it – someday
- when we listen just enough to make a reply
- when we spend all of our free time just escaping from responsibility
… when we just get by, we are facing “change or die”. Sure we aren’t imminently destined for the casket. But we might as well be because each day our spirit gets to die a little more.
I know because I’ve lived there. I’ve put in just enough effort at work. I’ve spent time escaping into TV and computer because other things seemed just too hard. And I experienced it as a slow, living death. Each day killed my spirit a little more.
Change or die. Some of you have been making choices that result in you dying on the inside a little each day. But there is another choice. When you pursue your calling and live a legacy, you get to experience a life full of expectation, purpose and meaning.
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is a the worst dreary existence and 10 is life to the full, how would you rate a typical month for you?
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