My older son broke his arm about a month ago, and since then he has had this protective shield around his arm. With the cast, he hasn’t been able to do some things and some things he still can do but are more difficult. Well today he is getting his cast off.
I was thinking that his cast is a great analogy to the way we often are. We keep a protective shell around us. This shell can look different from person to person. Here some ways it appears:
- We have a persona that we project to the world. This is the person we think everyone else wants us to be.
- We disengage from people by staying in the background and not saying much.
- We are brash and harsh so we keep everyone at a distance.
This persona is there to protect us. We do this because we’ve been hurt in the past. We were teased and laughed at. We had adults harm us or abuse us. We told that we weren’t acceptable.
The trouble though is that like my son’s cast, this persona prevents us from doing some things, and it makes it very difficult to do other things. While our persona worked to get us here. It won’t help us get there.
We need to cast off our persona. It’s challenging and fear pops out of nowhere to prevent us from doing this, but we must.
A great way to start is to become more vulnerable. Start sharing more of what’s really going on inside you. Start small and work your way up. Pick places that are safe. Your workplace might not be a safe place to start. Your family might be a safe enough place. A small group that you’re in is probably safe.
Are you vulnerable with some people? What’s your secret to getting started?
