Being busy is another common form of victim thinking. We throw the word “busy” around like it’s something that happens to us. We act like it’s something we get caught up in as though we have no choice in the matter.

I try to avoid using the word “busy” because, to me, it implies that I am not choosing how I spend my time. It’s a cop out.

If I say I’ve benn too busy, I am basically saying that my plate got loaded up with so many things that I didn’t have time to do the other things I wanted to do. The fact is, though, that I have a choice about how I prioritize my activities in life. And it’s not right to blame “busi-ness” for my choices in how I manage my own time.

Time Management and Money Management

There are many similarities between time management and money management. “I’ve been to busy” is very similar to “I can’t afford it.” As a financial coach, I always discouraged people from saying they can’t afford something because the truth is that we put our money toward the things that are most important to us.

For example, we might first choose to purchase food and water, then shelter with electricity. After that comes adequate clothing and transportation to work. If, after paying for those things, there’s not enough money to go to the movies, we should just say, I chose to spend my money on more important things. That’s taking responsibility for our choices.

Compassion and Time

The hard thing about time, though, is that how we use our time effects other people around us. Depending on how we prioritize our activities, there may not be time left for visiting withg family or friends. And that can cause some hurt feelings. It’s a lot easier to apologize and say “i’ve been to busy” than to say, “I chose to do these other things instead of spending time with you.”

We can be honest and compassionate at the same time. following are a few examples of how we can explain our choices in a way that is both honest and compassionate.

• “I’m really commited to reaching this goal, so I’ll be unavailable until the end of next month. I’d love it if we could get together after my goal is finished.”

• “I feel like it’s really important for me to focus on my marriage right now so I won’t be able to get together with you for a while. If you’d still like to spend some time together, I’d like to explore the idea of doing some things together that we’d have to do anyway, like maybe grocery shopping or running errands.”

• “I’m choosing to put a lot of effort into my physical health so I won’t be joining you for lunch for a couple months. In fact, it’d help me if we could maybe skip the meal and walk together instead.”

Some creative problem solving can be really helpful when it comes to time management. Also, if we are up front with the people who are effected by our time management choices, at least they can know that we still value the relationship.

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