I recently read something online that listed the “top 37 regrets.” (I’m not sharing the link because there’s a bunch of weirdo ads and rude comments.) I’m guessing that the author didn’t actually do a poll or look at relevant research, but listed his or her own opinion. So, don’t take the list as fact. Instead, see it as a good opportunity to consider for yourself what your future self might regret.
Following is the list as it appeared, without the little description of each item. As you read the list, see which ones resonate with you and which don’t. What might you add to the list that’s not already mentioned?
- Not traveling when you had the chance
- Not learning another language
- Staying in a bad relationship
- Forgoing sunscreen
- Missing the chance to see your favorite musicians
- Being scared to do things
- Failing to make physical fitness a priority
- Letting yourself be defined by gender roles
- Not quitting a terrible job
- Not trying harder in school
- Not realizing how beautiful you were
- Being afraid to say “I love you”
- Not listening to your parents’ advice
- Spending your youth self-absorbed
- Caring too much about what other people think
- Supporting others’ dreams over your own
- Not moving on fast enough
- Holding grudges, especially with those you love
- Not standing up for yourself
- Not volunteering enough
- Neglecting your teeth
- Missing the chance to ask your grandparents questions before they die
- Working too much
- Not learning to cook one awesome meal
- Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment
- Failing to finish what you start
- Never mastering one awesome party trick
- Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations
- Refusing to let friendships run their course
- Not playing with your kids enough
- Never taking a big risk (especially in love)
- Not taking the time to develop contacts and network
- Worrying too much
- Getting caught up in needless drama
- Not spending enough time with loved ones
- Never performing in front of others
- Not being grateful sooner
A party trick? Really? I don’t think I’ll regret that one. I don’t think I’ll regret the ones about the great meal or the musicians, either. I’m already regretting the sunscreen thing, though. It bothers me now, but I don’t think I’ll really care about it when I’m dying. I’m more concerned about the end-of-life evaluation that will take the big picture into account. Personally, I’m thinking that my relationships with people will be at the top of my list of concerns.
It’s interesting to note that people tend to regret things they did not do rather than regretting things they did. I read about that in a research study a while ago and it really stuck with me. We will regret not taking action more than we will regret doing things that were mistakes.
To avoid having regrets at the end of your life, I encourage you to take the time to evaluate what you value. Next, decide what you need to do to make your life to be in alignment with those values. Live your life so that in the end you can tell yourself that you did a good job, and not be burdened by regrets.
At Simply Great Lives, we encourage people to make a significant difference in the lives of other people. When John had his heart attack in 2005, he was wishing he’d done more to love people well and to make sure that his life mattered. If you know you want to make more of a positive impact in the lives of other people, we can support you in making that happen. This weekend, March 18-19 we are hosting the Life Impact Academy: Significance. You will be able to make a difference you’re passionate about in a way that’s a great fit for you. Click here for more information. You don’t have to have regrets around not having more of a positive impact!
