I have experienced repeating patterns in my life. The same thing seems to come up over and over again. This is usually a sign that something is going on inside of me producing this repeated result. I’m not producing this result on purpose. It’s happening automatically. So the question for today is, “Is your life on automatic or manual?”
The Gears
Let’s dig a little deeper into this. We are not of one mind. We have subconscious processes going on and we have conscious thought processes. We also have emotional drives that can be different from our stated desires. It’s complex.
We all have habitual behaviors attempting to win people’s love, approval, and acceptance, or we are constantly avoiding certain situations to keep ourself safe. So, while we are striving for success (or significance) in life, another part of us is working against us to keep us safe, and have acceptance.
We can make conscious decisions that get hijacked by subconscious processes driving us in a different direction. Note that it’s subconscious. We’re not even thinking about it. For example, we can decide that with our life experience and training, we’d like to mentor a few other people. But when we get into a mentoring situation, we are subconsciously seeking their approval – not great for mentoring.
Changing Gears
Resolving these types of competing drives is not easy, and in many ways is a lifetime endeavor. The key, though, is to take your life out of automatic and to put it into manual control.
Putting our life into manual control doesn’t mean that we just tell ourself to “stop it”, push harder, or exert more willpower. With this approach, when we “shift up”, our subconscious will just “shift back down” on us.
Instead, we need to intentionally feed our subconscious with new messages that say we are accepted, and that it will be okay. We need to tell our subconscious who still thinks we’re eight years old, that we are bold, compassionate, committed, interesting, fun, influential, and that we matter.
As you think on your life, are you living on automatic or manual?
