![By Federal government of the United States [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AHardtack_II_Socorro_001.jpg)
A theme has been emerging in my life lately. I’m getting a consistent message from multiple different sources. People want more of the real me and less of that other guy that I want them to see.
Intellectually, I understand. I know it’s just a choice. Yet, I’m still struggling with this. That other guy wants to live, and I want him to die or at least just go away. It’s world war 3 inside me.
The war is this:
Looking foolish – vs – Appearing wise
Looking weak – vs – Appearing strong
Looking dumb – vs – Appearing smart
Looking a mess – vs – Appearing like I’ve got it together
That other guy believes that if I don’t appear strong, wise, smart, and like I’ve got it all together, then others will reject me. I’ll be left all alone. And I’ll die. So. I can appear strong, wise, smart, and collected and be fake with you. You often won’t get the real me, but rarely will you disapprove, tell me I’m messed up, or walk away unimpressed. People will generally like me, and they won’t leave me alone. But I will remain lonely because I’m not really connecting with people.
On the other hand, I believe that if show up as the real me, you will better relate to me. We will connect at a much deeper level. And the real me will experience more love, and the real me will be able to give more love. If the real me doesn’t connect with people at a heart level, I will slowly die on the inside of loneliness.
Do I risk rejection by being real, or do I hide myself to stay safe and miss out on great connections?
Crash, bang! BOOM! World war 3 inside of me. It’s a fight for my very survival. That other guy thinks I will only survive by appearing perfect. I think I will only survive by getting real.
I am learning that to live out my calling, I need to be real. The real me must win this battle. When I lead people they will follow “real me” more than “fake me.” When I help people and influence them, they will trust the “real me” more than the “fake me.”
Can you relate? Do you have a similar war inside you? Tell us about it.
