There is a difference between reacting and responding. These two things on the surface appear to be the same thing. Something happens. Both reacting and responding then are what we do next. But these are very different things. Reacting gives us a feeling of being out of control. Responding gives us a feeling of being in control. Even better, leading puts us in control. Let’s take a closer look.
Reacting
If our boss is a jerk and we go around telling everyone what a freak he is and whine and complain about the situation, we are just reacting. Reactions are often thoughtless responses to a stimulus. We have the term “knee-jerk reaction”. This pretty much describes most reactions that we have.
Sometimes reactions are good. If a car swerves into our lane and we react by hitting the brakes, this is a good thing. Most of the time, however, our reactions are really an action driven by emotion in the moment. Someone does something. We get angry, and then react without thinking. Often when we react, it looks like a temper tantrum. When it’s an adult doing it, we don’t call it a temper tantrum, but that’s really what it is.
Responding
Responding is a step up from reacting. When we respond, we often have a thought process inserted between the event and our action. This thought process, then lets us choose how we’d like to respond to the situation.
If our boss is a jerk and we calmly tell him, in private, that it’s not acceptable for him to treat us that way, we are responding. This of course is just one of many responses we might choose. When we respond, usually our response works to change the situation. Reacting, on the other hand, often changes nothing.
Leading
While responding is way better than reacting, both have the problem of acting due to some stimulus. If we are always reacting and responding, we’re only doing things based on what someone else is doing.
Leading, on the other hand, is acting without a stimulus. Rather than life happening to us, when we lead, we happen to life.
You may notice that acting without a stimulus doesn’t necessarily involve other people, and you’re right. The first stage of leadership is to lead ourself. This is where we set direction and goals for our life and we act on these without needing external stimuli.
Once we are able to lead ourself, then we are capable of leading others.
So what about you? What are you leading today?
