How we show up gives people permission to do the same. Therefore, our own way of being is a means of influencing other people. This influence can be positive or negative, depending entirely on how we are showing up in life.
Examples of negative ways of showing up
- Distrustful
- Self-centered
- Self-conscious
- Distant
- Fearful
- Guarded
- Distracted
- Hateful
Just consider an interaction between two people. One person shows up and is very guarded. She reveals only superficial things about herself. The other person is likely to respond in kind. After all, who wants to get vulnerable with somebody who’s being guarded?
Examples of positive ways of showing up
- Authentic
- Vulnerable
- Trusting
- Bold
- Compassionate
- Grounded
- Courageous
- Loving
Now imagine two people in a different interaction. This time, the first person gets real and shares what’s really going on. The other person now has permission to do the same thing. It’s much more likely that the relationship can go to a deeper level because one person was authentic and vulnerable.
I’ve recently become more aware of this dynamic in my own life. As I am taking courageous steps, being bold and sharing my struggles with people, I have gotten some really great feedback. Other people are feeling inspired to do the same thing. How I am showing up in life is giving other people permission to show up the same way in their own lives.
How are you showing up in life?
The first step is to become aware of your being-ness, how you are showing up. Are you setting out into uncharted territory? Or are you hanging out in your comfort zone? Do you hide behind a mask in your interactions with other people? Or are you being genuine? Are you blaming other people for the things you don’t like in your life? Or do you take responsibility for your choices?
How do you want to show up?
Here’s some good news. If were not showing up the way we want to, we can make a new choice. We can choose to be open. We can choose to be loving. We can choose to be courageous.
Who are we giving permission to?
How we show up has the potential of affecting a lot of different people. Following are just a few examples:
- Spouse
- Our kids
- Friends
- Coworkers
- Clients
- The waitress
- The guy at the checkout counter
Who is giving you permission?
If you don’t have any people in your life showing up the way you want to show up, doing the things you want to do, maybe you need to let some new people into your life. It’s a lot more challenging to stretch yourself in new ways and accomplish great new things if you’re on that path all alone.
We can surround ourselves with like-minded people who will challenge us because they are challenging themselves. Similarly, we can give permission to people in our lives to grow because of the way we are choosing to show up in life.
