I recently acquired a new sense of responsibility. I’m feeling the need to step up and get better at helping people to get deliberate and focused in having a positive impact. Interestingly, this sense of responsibility is for the people who will not have that positive impact because I stood by and let someone else live small. I think this new sense of responsibility came as I reflected on a conversation with a client about a year ago. I asked a question we ask many people, “Who had a significantly positive impact on your life.”
The woman couldn’t name anybody who had really impacted her life in a positive way. I got to wondering how many times in her life she needed someone for support or guidance or something. How often had she needed that but not gotten it? Then I thought about the other people who hadn’t been there for her. Were they too busy working and tending to their own families? Were they satisfied giving to some charity or volunteering a little here and there? All the while, there was someone in their midst who certainly needed a positive impact at some point in her life.
How many people have needs that go unmet? How many blessings could be bestowed and aren’t.
My heart felt heavy for the people who didn’t experience a positive impact someone could have had on them. It was a new experience for me, a very thought-provoking one.
So I shared it with several people I get support from. Their response was very interesting to me. They told me to not beat myself up, to not feel guilty. I hadn’t, however, felt guilty and I hadn’t been beating myself up, either. I just felt moved to push harder, to get more focused and more effective at what I do because there are people affected by what I do and by what I don’t do.
So, for example, if I’m feeling uncomfortable about talking to someone about their impact and I choose to avoid talking to that person, I’m realizing a lot of other people will ultimately be affected. That person may have stepped up and had a really focused and deliberate positive impact but I didn’t even talk to them to help spur them on.
I’m not feeling motivated by guilt, but by a sense of responsibility. I can’t be responsible for other people’s choices. But I am feeling aware of my responsibility to try to engage people to get them thinking and to make some choices. I want to do my part. Their response is not my responsibility. But I have to try to engage people and I need to sharpen my skills so I can be as effective as possible.
How about you? Do you ever think about the people you could have a positive impact on, but aren’t? Do you feel a need to step up your efforts to have a positive impact? If so, what are you going to do about it?
