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In the places we go, do we show up as a leader or individual?
A lot of people think leadership is telling people what to do. I’ve found that leadership isn’t so much telling people what to do, but instead, it’s making sure everyone is clear on the direction and that people aren’t getting left in the cold.
A person trying to lead by telling people what to do isn’t much of a leader. Usually a person like this has positional authority but no real followers. If you take this person out of their position, people will stop following. Instead this person is showing up as an individual trying to look like a leader.
Confession
For a lot of years I was going along in my marriage just making sure it worked for me. But it wasn’t working for my wife, Rena. This lead to a lot of conflict in our marriage. It often degenerated into who got what they wanted, and who would have to concede. I was just making sure it worked for me and then leaving it up to Rena to fend for herself. I was showing up in my marriage as an individual.
Now I work to show up as a leader in my marriage. As a leader in my marriage, I need to understand that the marriage isn’t working unless it’s working for both of us. And it’s my responsibility to make sure the marriage is working. I believe with this attitude, I am becoming a true leader in my marriage and in my family.
How We Show Up
How we show up has a lot to do with where our mind and heart is in any given setting. For example, when we show up to a class, what are we thinking about?
Are we thinking about how we need to learn the material really well? Are we worried about what others might think of us in the class? Are we thinking about how we can get done with the class early so we can go do something else? If we’re thinking these sort of thoughts, we’re only making sure it works for us, and then letting the other students fend for themselves. We are showing up as an individual.
Are we thinking about how the class as a whole might better learn the material together? Are we thinking about setting up a study session where we can help each other with the homework? Are we thinking about asking questions in the class so other students will get the benefit of the teacher’s answer? If we’re thinking these sort of thoughts, we are showing up as a leader.
True leaders think about success for the whole rather than just about their own win.
How about you? Have you thought about how you show up? Do you mostly show up as an individual or as a leader? Why do you think this is?
