No one likes to feel sad. We like to feel happy or peaceful or engaged. But sad is something we try to avoid. So I have a little tip to help you feel less sadness.
The best way to have less sadness in your life is to go ahead and feel it when it comes along. Seriously, the more we let ourselves experience being sad about a particular thing, the faster we will pass through it and come out the other side.
Another option to dealing with sadness that isn’t as productive is to “stuff” it. That is where we feel sad but ignore it and try to shove it away. Here’s the reason that technique doesn’t work as well: the sadness stays inside and pops back up at some other time when we’re not expecting it. It’s almost like there’s a jar inside us where the sad feelings live (especially for more significant events that have made us sad). The lid comes off and we feel sad. When we allow ourselves to feel the feeling, the sadness inside us diminishes. Then the next time we feel that same sadness, it’s not quite so intense because we already let some out.
I decided to write about dealing with sadness because I’ve noticed that a lot of people don’t handle being sad well. They apologize when sadness comes, especially if it’s accompanied by tears. I think it’s ridiculous to say we’re sorry for feeling sad. I’d rather people apologize for getting angry and lashing out at someone. At least that would make more sense.
So, if you’re talking with someone about something that makes you feel sad and you get a little choked up, know that it’s OK. Please don’t apologize for it. You can simply say something like, “You can see that it still touches me.” Don’t worry about trying to make the other person feel comfortable beyond that. You are entitled to feel your feelings.
Any sadness you happen to experience will pass faster if you let it come, feel it and let it pass. It may seem ironic, but embracing your sadness will allow you to feel less sad overall.
