Honest feedback is priceless. But it can be so hard to come by. Heck, we’re doing good if a friend is honest enough to tell us what we’re wearing isn’t flattering. It’s really rare to get someone honest enough to say, “Hey, the way you’re showing up isn’t really cool. I don’t think it’s working for you.”
I’ve paid a lot of money for honest feedback. Personal development workshops, therapists and coaches have been the best sources of honest feedback for me. Don’t get me wrong. I do get some honest feedback from a few people who are close to me. Any time a friend or loved one gives honest feedback, though, they run the risk of damaging the relationship if the feedback does not land well.
Personally, I love it when people call me on my stuff. There are things I’m doing but I’m just not aware of. There are other things I’ve avoided becoming aware of. Getting some honest feedback around it gives me the opportunity to change and become more effective in having a positive impact with my life.
Receiving Honest Feedback
Understand that it’s a real gift to have someone tell it like it really is. If the people in your life don’t give you honest feedback, consider finding someone whose job it is, like a coach or a mentor.
Note that not all feed back is created equal. Carefully consider who is giving the feedback and if it’s meant to help or harm you. Just because they said it, doesn’t make it true. The point here, of course, is to receive the feedback and evaluate it.
To seek out good feedback, find quality people who you can trust, who hold your best interests. These folk’s feedback is meant only to help.
Where honest Feedback Can Help
Following are a few questions that you can ask to get helpful input from people who will give it honestly.
- Am I being authentic, transparent and vulnerable or am I “hiding out”?
- Am I present with you as an individual or am I distracted?
- Am I demonstrating that I’m genuinely interested in you and your concerns or am I more focused on myself and my concerns?
How we show up in these ways will determine, at least in part, our effectiveness. It affects relationships. It affects how people perceive us and respond to us. Ultimately, it will affect how much of a positive impact we can have with our lives.
Honest feedback is an invaluable tool in boosting the positive impact of our lives. Seek it out whenever you can, evaluate it with an open mind and make adjustments where appropriate. Your effectiveness in having a positive impact on other people is on the line.
