Who are you hanging out with? Are they building you up? Do they see possibilities and encourage you? Are they seeking to become a better version of themselves? Or do you find yourself surrounded by the stereotypical “Debbie Downer”?
First, let’s look at what it means for someone to get us down. You’ll need to evaluate it for yourself. If someone is having a negative effect on you, that’s how it is. There’s no need to explain it. On the other hand, someone may share some negative things with you and it doesn’t get you down. So the point is to note how you are feeling–and thinking–after interacting with a person.
For example, if you have a friend who’s having a hard time, I’m not suggesting you bail on the person. If the context of the relationship is generally about what’s possible and making things better, providing support is great. If a person, on the other hand, just complains all the time with no interest in making it better, note how it makes you feel.
There are some people in my life where I choose to limit my exposure to them. They border on being conspiracy theorists and talk a lot about what’s wrong in the world. They are not interested in what they can do to make things better. In fact, they can hardly understand the work we do to help people make a positive impact. So we don’t really even talk about it with them. When I leave their presence, I am drained, anxious and stressed. They definitely get me down.
I choose to spend my time with other people who have more of a positive focus instead. I like associating with people who lift me up and encourage me. In fact, just the other day I was talking with a friend and I was expressing some frustration at an area I’ve been struggling in and she pointed out all the things I have done and accomplished and the ways I’ve grown. I was real grateful for her positive perspective.
Hanging out with downer people is like sabotaging our own efforts to have a positive impact. How can we give out positivity if our tank was drained by someone else? Don’t let those negative people hold you down. Be sure to have plenty of people who will help you fly instead.
