That’s the fluffy underside of my cat Hobbes–he’s being vulnerable. He’s assessed that I’m a safe person and that he doesn’t always have to worry about protecting himself when he’s with me. It’s nice to know he trusts me and we’re closer because of it. In fact, there are benefits in being vulnerable in our relationships with other people, too.
When we are being vulnerable, we are exposing certain parts of ourselves where doing so involves some risk. We can share a time where we made a mistake. That might open us up to judgement. Or we can share something we’re struggling with. That might make people think less of us. Those are just a couple examples of being vulnerable and the associated risks.
You’ll have to gauge for yourself who is safe enough to share those kinds of things with. Even if you do share something and the other person says or does something hurtful, it doesn’t have to be devastating for you. You can chalk it up as a learning opportunity–about that person’s ability to be kind and supportive.
If you do choose to be vulnerable and expose a little more of yourself, here are some of the potential benefits:
You’ll feel more seen, heard and understood
Everyone wants to know that other people get them. But how can other people really understand you an your experience if you are only revealing the most obvious parts of yourself? What you are experiencing in life is part of the human experience and you are not alone in it. It’ll feel good knowing other people understand you and can relate.
You’ll experience a heightened sense of connection
Once you share more of yourself and other people express that they can relate, you won’t feel so alone. Feeling seen, heard and understood creates more connection with other people. But if you wear a mask and do not reveal the real you, you will forgo this opportunity for more connection
your vulnerability invites other people to be more vulnerable
This is an important principle: how you are being invites other people to be the same way. Anger begets anger in other people, hiding out invites more hiding out. But being vulnerable and leading by example provides an invitation for other people to share more of themselves, too.
I’m not suggesting you launch into TMI mode and overwhelm everyone you meet. I’m trusting you to be able to try it out to find what other people can take and, to find out how capable they are of staying present and connected with you as you share more vulnerably. Then you can assess how much of yourself to share with whom and enjoy more connection and feeling like other people really get you.
