I used to be a real smart ass. I thought it made me look smart. I thought it would make people respect me if I was witty and clever. I chose to make a change, though, when I inadvertently hurt the feelings of some people I love.
The first time I noticed my negative impact as a smart ass was about 12 years ago. I was heading to a conference with some team members. My team leader was a very good friend. She’s the kind of person who is always early. You know, “to be early is to be on time and to be on time is to be late.”
When our team leader called my cell phone, I assumed she was calling to see where we were to find out if we would be on time. So I answered the phone, “We just left my house.”
She answered, “That’s not why I called.” She was rather cool toward me for the rest of the day and it was obvious I had really hurt her feelings. I felt horrible about it.
The next time was during our move from New Mexico back to California. My sister-in-law drove the moving truck and my husband drove our Jeep with a trailer attached. I wanted a break from being with the guys and was going to switch with my friend who was accompanying us. She complained a little about having to be stuck in a car with my husband and kids. I glibly replied, “Sucks to be you.” Judging by her reaction, that was not the right thing to say.
That day I decided I would never use that phrase again. Years later a new phrase became popular: “I’m just sayin’.” When I heard people saying it more and more I decided I wouldn’t use that one either. People would just say anything with no regard about how it was going to land and just tag on, “I’m just sayin'” as if it made everything okay.
I decided how I impact other people is important. I certainly don’t want to hurt people I love. I don’t even want to have a negative impact on strangers if I can avoid it. I can’t say I’m perfect at it, but I am trying.
Being a smart ass will only hurt other people in the long run. It’s only a matter of time before a phrase thrown out there in hopes of impressing other people hurts somebody else.
I hope you take this opportunity to examine how your words are affecting other people. In my experience, people respond to us much more positively when we are real and vulnerable compared to when We’re trying to look cool.
