I have a problem. I see my own responsibility in creating it. Now that it’s too late to prevent it, I just want to resolve it in the best way possible.
Here are the basics:
- Apparently, our oldest son is addicted to an online game he plays with his friends. It would have been better if we responded sooner, but we are doing it now. Unfortunately, the habit now is a deeply-worn groove in his life. He recently got into virtual gaming and got animal jam free membership codes.
- We recently set some limits around the game and continue reminding him that our goal is for him to develop other interests and to interact more with our family.
- Right now I have a terribly sad 14-year old boy in despair who only sees what he can’t have. He says he has no idea of what to do with his time. We made many suggestions to him before now in an attempt to avert the current crisis. He shot them all down.
Tonight when I tucked him in, I told him I know it’s hard. I asked him to let me know how I can best support him in this change. He asked me to check in with him frequently and to help him find things to do.
I’m encouraging him to explore what he’s passionate about–other than online gaming. He told me he likes helping people to understand things. I told him that’s a great place to start!
I just came up with a list of over 20 things for him to do or explore. It ranges from tutoring other kids in math to creating You Tube video tutorials for grandparents on how to use technology to interact with their grandkids. There’s cooking, learning to play guitar and training our cats to, like, come when we call them. He could walk neighbors’ dogs for money or learn web design and create web pages for people. He could even use the Wii Fit for exercise.
I guess that’s all I can do for now. I’m having a hard time because I’m just not used to seeing him in pain like this. If you have any suggestions for me, please feel free to leave them as a comment. (It’s not necessary to comment on how we shouldn’t have let it become such a problem, though. I already feel bad enough about it.)
The real irony is that John and I have devoted ourselves to helping people live a life of significance. Yet we haven’t been able to convince our own son of the value of getting off those dang computer games. I even tell other parents how important it is to instill their values in their kids.
This parenting thing can just be pretty hard sometimes
