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Author Archive | John Bonesio

worthiness

Who Am I to …?

Lately, I’ve been working through some more internal “stuff.” The question that has been popping up is, “Who am I to _______?” This question is really a question of worthiness. Who Am I? This has been incredibly frustrating for me, because I thought I had worked through my worthiness issues already when we wrote our […]

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Easter Eggs

Easter, Baptism, and a Heart Attack

Easter Coloring Easter eggs can be fun. We can color them with solid colors, or make them two toned. And sometimes we can swirl the egg in rainbows of brilliant colors. I like easter eggs. Somewhere this Easter lays a person in a hospital bed stuck in a coma. And this person won’t be able […]

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calendar

How Many Days We Have Left

We don’t usually ask how many days we have left. The answer, really is unknowable. But each day, we assume we’ll be around tomorrow. Each week, we assume we’ll be here next week. Each year we think we’ll be here next year too. I certainly held this idea of having plenty of days left when […]

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problems solutions

Don’t Focus on the Problem

The other day (OK, it was quite a while ago), I was stuck in anger and frustration. Things were happening to me at work that I didn’t like. The project lead would talk about what was wrong with the project – never talked about the progress we made or the breakthroughs we had. Progress was […]

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fear

Can’t Get Ahead?

The opposite of love is not hate as many think. There are two primary modes of operation we can have when we show up anywhere. These two modes are Love and Fear, and as you may have guessed, the opposite of love is actually fear. Whatever mode in which we are primarily operating will dominate […]

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I am

Just The Way I Am

Sometimes when I interact with people, I hear them explain a certain behavior with the phrase, “That’s just the way I am.” The person is saying, “that’s the way I am, and I can’t change.” In truth, this is just making excuses for bad behavior that should stop. Reversing Negative Talk Getting such a behavior […]

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helping hand

Do You Know Your One Thing?

In the movie, “City Slickers”, there is a scene between Mitch (Billy Crystal) and Curly (Jack Palance). In this scene, Curly shares the secret to life. The scene goes like this: Curly: “Do you know what the secret to life is?” Mitch: “No. What?” Curly: “This” (Holding up index finger) Mitch: “Your finger?” Curly: “One […]

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heart-rate

A Defining Moment

Sometimes we experience a defining moment in our life. Because of this one moment, our whole life changes. I had a defining moment like this. As many of you have read in our book and in this blog, in 2005 I had a heart attack. I was very young for a heart attack at the […]

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compassion

If I Really Loved this Person …

A lot of folks these days are into doing good. I like this focus, and I have a simple tool to help take this sort of activity from good to really awesome. All we have to do is complete this sentence: “If I really loved this person, I would …” Before we dive into this, […]

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street sweeper

Is Our Side of the Street Clean?

In AA, one of the sayings is “keep your side of the street clean.” It’s usually applied to specific situations where they don’t let others’ behavior derail their sobriety and their journey through the steps. But I think we’ve taken this concept a little too far and applied it everywhere. Just to be clear, this isn’t a rant […]

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